Thursday, 7 May 2015
Taming our Little Monster with 'Kids Don't Come With A Manual' by Carole and Nadim Saad
I blogged this week about Ted's sleep problems and I wanted to share with you a great book we have been reviewing called 'Kids Don't Come With A Manual' by Carole and Nadim Saad, because trust me...they really don't!
Despite bed times being super stressful I am finding parenting in the daytime much easier since I stopped being so hard on myself and relaxed a little in my approach to parenting. I have always been the 'bad cop' in our family. The one that puts rules in place and dishes out discipline when needed but recently I realised something had to change. Ted had Joe wrapped around his tiny fingers and I was the villain in the story.
Having read a few pages of our new book I realised that despite us being polar opposites when it comes to parenting that we still needed to come together and parent Ted as a team. Me saying one thing and Joe doing another followed by an argument and me telling him what he should be doing just wasn't working and it wasn't fair.
Carole and Nadim Saad who are the brains behind this great parenting guide are my kind of people. They both have different approaches to parenting but have devised a series of tools to help co-parent and make family life a much happier time.
The book is broken up into a selection of tools to use in parenting and is designed so that it is a go to guide you can delve into whenever you feel you need it and doesn't need to be read from front to back in one sitting to be effective.
Each chapter features the voices of the parents both the 'Strict Parent' (Nadim) and the 'All Hearted Parent' (Carole) and their views on different parenting issues. It also features a very sweetly written child's perspective which really makes you think about how actions may make your child feel. I am sure this voice is exactly the one inside Ted's head!
After reading a few pages I sat down with Joe and apologised for being tough on him and we agreed to try and parent together. He promised not to talk down to be or mock me when Ted is around no matter how playfully it is and I agreed not to judge him if I felt he was being too soft or actually in some cases too tough as I know it is hard to find a balance. We agreed to go this as a team and respect each others views.
The Saads have 3 daughters and despite having backgrounds in child psychology are not claiming to be experts at parenting and this is by no means one of those preachy parenting bibles but more of a 'hey why not try this' type book. Just the thing I need for when times get really tough.
I found the section on Limited Choices particularly helpful, by giving your child 2 choices in a situation they feel they are in control and really both choices benefit you as a parent. For example "Do you want to go to bed now or in 5 minutes?" The child will more often than not say in 5 minutes but then they have made a decision themselves and feel they are in control. 5 minutes later bedtime isn't a hardship but will help your child to feel more independent!
Although a lot of the tools are aimed for 3-4 years+ I felt I was able to use a lot of the advice given with Ted and will definitely be keeping it close by for the coming months and years.
If you would like to buy your own copy of the book you can do so here but I also have a copy to give away to one lucky reader so follow the Gleam form below to be in with a chance of winning!
Kids Don't Come With A Manual Book